One
by History101
Summary: Spock centric. Based on the Star Trek Voyager episode, 'One'. To save the planet Gamma Nine which is beset with a deadly plague, the crew of the Enterprise find that they must pass through a nebula which has damaging effects on all except one on board. I don't own any rights to Star Trek.


**One**.

* * *

On the main viewer on the Bridge of the Enterprise, the crew could see a vast purplish grey cloud, large enough to fill the entire screen and beyond. It looked almost like a dust cloud with small, bright bolts of lighting crackling randomly inside it.

"Full stop," James Kirk ordered, leaning forwards in his chair on the . "What is that?" he asked.

"A nebula, Captain, it appears to extend beyond the reach of our sensors," Spock answered, looking down at his science station.

"I suppose that means we can't go around it, not with our tight schedule," the captain hummed and leaned forwards in his chair. "My orders are to get to that planet as fast as possible...Mr Sulu, take us in, one quarter impulse."

"Aye, captain," the helmsman nodded, "One quarter impulse."

"Detecting a slight radioactive field, Captain," Spock said, staring intently down at his monitor.

"...Sulu?" Chekhov questioned when, at the same time, his friend suddenly fell forwards and clutched his head. His fingers tightening in his hair with paling knuckles.

Most eyes turned towards the helmsmen and Sulu looked up again a second later, squinting and blinking away his unexplainable dizziness. "...I...it's nothing...just a headache, I guess," Sulu shook his head, "I'm fine."

"Maintain course, then," Kirk replied, hiding concern.

"Aye...s..." Sulu began when his head began to pound again.

"Captain!" Uhura cried, clutching at her hand suddenly when a knotted and mottled pattern of burn like scars began appearing on her skin.

Jim jumped to his feet when he felt the same burning sensation on his arms and hands. Looking down at his palms he watched the scar like pattern grow from nothing and his vision started to spin as his knees fell from under him. He and other members of the bridge crew fell to the ground, grimacing in pain and Spock, the only one seemingly unaffected walked quickly over to the control station and turned the ship around, taking them out of the nebula.

Once the ship was out of the strange nebula, the crew slowly began to control their desperate breathing and Spock brought them to a stop, hovering just outside of it.

"Bridge to Sickbay," Jim ground out as he clawed his way back onto his chair, "We need help!"

"On my way, captain," McCoy spoke over the channel, appearing through the red turbo lift doors a minute later.

* * *

"After extensive modifications," Spock began in the briefing room, "I was able to further extend the reach of the ships long range sensors to determine the size of the nebula. It extends for 89.5 light years. The largest recorded in this reach of space," he reported.

"At the least it'd take us a month to get through it and more than a year to go around it," Scotty sighed.

"The crew were unable to tolerate the nebula for even two minutes, they certainly would not survive a month," the Vulcan confirmed.

"Starfleet command sure did a number on us with this one," McCoy scoffed.

"This solar system is a violent one, it has an usual number of small stars which tend to be unstable. The single planet below has a remarkable tracking system for these nebulae but the current situation makes it all but impossible for them to utilise it. Starfleet command has no such technology, though since First Contact it has been promised. This nebula was not known to Starfleet at the time our mission was given," Spock finished.

"So it's just our luck what's done it," Bones nodded in understanding.

"There's an entire planet counting on this mission," Jim said, "That Havaran plague down there won't wait for a more confident time."

"These nebulas, I believe, have an average life span of two to three months, captain," Spock said.

"We can't afford to wait an extra month long. I...I contacted Starfleet command and they were fully briefed on our situation. Gamma Nine is essential to the Federation and we're the closet ship. We have a shipload of supplies that could help end this plague. We don't have a choice, we have to get through."

"And how d'ye suppose we do that, capt'n?" Scotty asked, "Even if we had warp 100 we could'ne get though it fast enough to come out alive."

"Mr. Scott is correct, Captain," Spock said, "I believe the harmful effects of this nebula stem from the sub nucleonic radiation..."

"...And even the briefest exposure to that stuff is devastating to organic tissue," the doctor finished.

"Quite so," Spock nodded.

"Then...what are my options? We can't go around it. We have to go through it...but how?" the captain sighed.

"There is one way," McCoy said, bringing up an image on the screens, "Stasis chambers, independent life support for each unit."

"Doctor...are you suggesting that the entire crew be put in suspended animation?" Jim scoffed. "What if something were to go wrong with the units while we were inside the nebula?"

"It's the only option I can give you, Captain," McCoy defended, "Unless we wait for this thing to pass."

"What about adjusting the shields? Inoculations?" the Captain asked, incredulously.

"I've considered all that, it's just not possible with this type of radiation."

"I think you're forgetting the most important problem, doctor," Scotty began, "The ship cann'e run herself, how would we get through this beastie of nebula with no one to set her straight?"

"...There was only one crewman aboard who seemed unaffected by the nebula," the doctor pointed out and turned to look at the First Officer.

"...Spock?" the captain questioned.

"No...no, one man cann'e captain a star ship by himself, even Mr. Spock," Scotty shook his head, "It's not possible."

"It would be possible if all controls were redirected from Engineering to the Bridge and all non essential systems were shut down," Spock said.

"Even then!" Scotty breathed, "The Enterprise is just too big, she's not designed for that! She'd stop dead before we got half way through."

"Spock, even if this were possible..." Jim began calmly, "...You need to understand just how serious this is. This lives of the entire crew would be on your shoulders."

"You doubt my ability to fulfil this task?"

"No, not at all, but this is an unusual situation."

"I am a Vulcan. I am fully able to function alone..."

"Don't give me that," McCoy scowled, "You've been working on this ship for over a decade. Don't try and tell me you haven't got used to having so many of us illogical humans around."

"Scotty, I want you to see just how 'possible' this would be. If this is our only option, I want you and your engineers to see what you can do to make this possible," Jim told Scotty.

"Aye, sir," the Scotsman agreed heavily, "I suppose I could rig the ship up with voice activation so's you could multi task, so to speak," he said to Spock.

"These...stasis chambers, Bones, can we reproduce 400 of them?" the Captain asked the doctor.

"I don't see why not."

"How long will it take?"

"I don't...maybe five or six hours if we can reprogram all the replicators and I get the entire medical staff workin' on it," Bones shrugged.

"Then you better get started. Dismissed," Jim said in his usual tone of finality and the officers stood to leave. "Not you, Spock," he added.

"Captain?" the Vulcan raised an eyebrow when the door closed, leaving them alone.

"Spock...on more than one occasion you've told me that you don't want command. I know you have the ability for it but this is not a shuttlecraft exploration, there are 400 people and none of them will be able to help you. If we go through with this and you...what assurances do we have that this radiation won't effect you further down the line?"

"My physiology is quite different from all others aboard this ship," Spock answered, "The odds of such an event would be 29768.6 to 1."

"...Those are pretty good odds."

"I can do this, Captain."

"...Alright," Jim smiled, "Alright."

* * *

After a long discussion in Engineering Spock and Scotty succeeded in tying all the ships' to the Bridge. It took them three hours and by then all 428 of the stasis units were laid out in the largest deck of the ship.

"If I have to sleep for a month, vhy can I not do so in my qvaters?" Chekhov paced, his accent even more pronounced in his agitation.

"Everyone's being relocated here so I can tie up all the units to a main computer," McCoy said for the third time to the young ensign, "Now for the last time, in you get, Mr. Chekhov before I hypo you in there," he finished, indicating the empty stasis chamber before him.

"Come on, Chekhov, sleepy time," Sulu smiled as he climbed into his own chamber.

"Vhat if ve have to get out in a hurry?" Chekhov asked as he shakily began to get into the stasis unit.

"You can unlock the unit from inside," Jim said with a patient smile.

"Vhy do these things have to look like coffins?" Chekhov shuddered as he stared intently at the unlock button inside.

"Shall we find you a teddy bear?" Sulu asked.

"Sleep tight, gentlemen," Bones said, rolling his eyes as he pressed buttons on each unit. The transparent lids on the chambers began to close slowly and their inhabitants were sent into a deep sleep.

"Guess it's our turn now, Bones," the captain said.

"Hmmm," the doctor hummed as they proceeded to clamber into the two remaining units.

"See you in a month, Spock," Jim smiled at his first officer who nodded.

* * *

First Officer's Log, star date; 2329.6

This is our tenth day in our journey through the nebula. I have created an efficient daily routine and the modifications to ship's systems are functioning within expected parameters. However, I do not believe those modifications will leave the ship undamaged for long. Voice commands added to ships' helm have required one diagnostics and other systems require almost constant maintenance.

Calculations show that there are exactly twenty three days, seven hours and fifty one minutes remaining to complete passage through the nebula, which I have found, requires daily course adjustments to compensate for its volatile nature.

End log.

* * *

Spock walked briskly through the corridors and into the turbo lift onto the Bridge. He headed straight for the Science station and took in two monitors; one displaying the steady increase in the radiations levels and the other showing the ships' heading.

"Computer, adjust heading by .03 degrees starboard," he said confidently.

"Course adjusted," the computerised voice replied after a moment.

Once he left the Bridge for his first daily check of the 428 stasis chambers it wasn't long before he found, lying on the floor, Ensign Pavel Chekhov whom he was forced to return to the empty stasis unit. It was the only unexpected event to happen to Spock in eleven days.

* * *

On the Nineteenth day at precisely 09:47, Spock was on walking through the corridors when the entire ship shook violently as though under attack. The klaxon began to sound the automatic red alert and the Vulcan was thrown against the wall, hard enough for him to feel his dense desert bones shake from the impact.

"What is the nature of the emergency?" he managed to ask quickly.

"...The...th...emerg...ency...emergency..." the automatic voice was just about discernible through the static.

"Computer, state the nature of the emergency!"

"...Plasma leak in Engineering Deck, hull rupture imminent. Engineering Deck has been sealed," it stated.

Spock ran down to Engineering Deck and when the door refused to slide open he pressed the button to manually open the door and instead he was given an automated warning.

"Warning! Warning! Engineering Deck is sealed."

"Open Engineering Deck," he ordered.

"Warning! Warn..."

"Computer, open Engineering deck!"

The door beeped open and Spock prepared himself for the worst. He knew he could survive for longer than a human in the event of a plasma leak, but he couldn't survive it indefinitely. But, when he entered, he blinked once, twice in confusion. Spock, for once, was speechless. There was no trace of a plasma leak, or hull damage of any kind.

* * *

First Officer's Log, star date; 2349.5

The radiation of the nebula has begun to affect ships' systems. A malfunction in the neural gel packs in section 6A allowed for false readings in ship's sensors. I have corrected the malfunction and taken measures to avoid such false readings in the future.

As expected, other ships' systems are beginning to deteriorate and require constant maintenance to avoid disaster. Today, I must purge all auxiliary plasma vents.

End log.

* * *

"Computer, trim heading by .31 degrees port," Spock ordered on the Bridge but got no reply, "Computer, respond."

"A...attempt...attempting..."

"Computer, trim heading by .31 degrees port," Spock repeated, sternly.

"...A...unabl...unable to...unable to comply..."

Spock let out the Vulcan equivalent to a sigh and stormed over to the main controls to effect the course adjustment with his data padd still in hand. He then initiated a diagnostics on the command processors that Scotty had out in place on his science station computers. After, once again, fixing the problem, he left the Bridge.

As he made his way through the ship he heard a voice call his name. "Spock!" he heard the captain say, but he knew that was impossible. He couldn't possibly be hearing anyone's voice, unless of course they had escaped from their stasis unit. But to his knowledge, the captain was not claustrophobic. Nevertheless, he walked quickly, passing no one along the way, to find not one person out of their chamber.

Once he double checked the units he left the Bay and after a minute, the whistle sounded, signalling another ship attempting to contact.

"Calling Starfleet vessel," a deep, gravelly voice called, "Calling Starfleet vessel."

"Computer, open a channel."

"Channel open."

"This is the Federation starship Enterprise, state your identity," Spock declared.

"I am Trajis Lo Tarik."

"Why are you in this nebula?"

"Trying to get through it. Why are you here?"

"For the same purpose, it was unavoidable."

"I have never before met another ship on my travels through these nebulae. I am in need of a micro fusion chamber, would you consider a trade?"

"Do you have liquid helium?"

"You are fortunate, I have an ample supply."

"I will transport you aboard," Spock said, "Enterprise out."

* * *

"Spock...hmm...that's an unusual name. I've never met a Vulcan before," Trajis Lo Tarik said as Spock searched methodically through the ships' storage.

Trajis Lo Tarik was a six foot tall member of the Antaeli race a pale skinned people who inhabited an all but sunless planet. He had, like all his people, colourless eyes and white hair which made him seem even more stark when contrasted with the pure black of his leathery armour.

"Though I have seen Federation star ships before, I've never seen one so deserted. Where are the crew? I assume they could not pass unharmed through the nebula."

"They cannot, I am in command," Spock said briefly.

"As am I. I am both pilot and crew on my ship, luckily I am immune to the effects of the nebula."

"What of your technology? The radiation had caused continual damage to ours."

"I've had to rebuild my engines twice already. You appear to be doing well, how long have you been in this nebula?"

"Twenty eight days and five hours," the Vulcan replied.

"I was surprised to find another ship headed towards me. No one has ever been able to pass through one of these nebulae."

"Were it not necessary we wouldn't be attempting it."

"I'm here by choice I'm determined to be the first to get through."

"Where did you begin your journey? Surely you passed Gamma Nine, you must know..."

"I know all about their plague problem. They're dropping like flies, according to my scans, but that's not my concern," he dismissed, "My people don't concern ourselves with the problems of others."

"So I have heard," Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Nor do we pass up golden opportunities when they present themselves," Trajis said smugly as he pulled out his phaser and aimed it at the Vulcan. "Being the first of my kind to successfully pass through a nebula is one thing, but being the first to capture a star ship is another," he grinned, "This isn't the kind of thing that comes along every other day."

"I should hope not," Spock replied simply.

"You don't seem surprised."

"Should I be?"

"You don't seem afraid either. I've always wondered whether or not Vulcans feel fear. I've heard you people don't feel anything at all."

As Spock took cautious, slow steps to stand before the storage container he'd just opened, his right hand, hidden behind him, reached for one of the phasers lying inside it.

"It is true," he said at the same time, "Vulcans pride ourselves on our strict emotional control."

"I've stolen ships from all kinds of people...I've never had someone act so indifferent," Trajis sneered as he moved closer.

"And what becomes of those whom you deprive of their ships?" Spock asked, the phaser now safely in hand.

"Isn't it obvious?" the alien captain scoffed. Now, he was close enough, only a few metres away, his vision not hampered by large storage containers he could see that the Vulcan was hiding something.

"It is indeed," Spock said, moving his hand his lighting reflexes and firing at Trajis before the alien could even blink with maximum stun.

* * *

As Spock secured the force field in the Brig, the cell's inhabitant began to stir and he grumbled angrily in his native language as the Vulcan stepped back.

"...You knew what I'd do from the beginning, didn't you?" Trajis asked.

"I thought it most probable. Your race is not known for its honesty or it's kindness."

"No, we're not, but if you knew that, why let me on your ship at all?"

"One man is easier to stop than a ship such as yours; smaller, easily manoeuvrable and heavily armed."

"...Hmm...very clever," Trajis mumbled and turned his attention away from the Vulcan who walked from the Brig.

Later that same day, as he made his way to Engineering, Spock heard quiet voices calling out for help. He was lead to the stasis units, following the fearful voices of the crew, only to find that they were all still sleeping soundly. The voices could not have come from the crew.

He was also to find that, on his own hands, were red welts, burn scars that had been caused not by fire, but by radiation. The same scarring that had affected the crew was now affecting him and there was not a single thing he could do about it.

* * *

First Officer's Log, star date; 2353.4

Ship's engines are becoming increasingly problematic. The constant use of the level 4 force field in the Brig is a drain on ship's power that I cannot afford but neither can I release the Antaeli captain. Should he attack again I have no doubt that he would succeed in his effort to commandeer the ship and all of Gamma Nine's population, some 5.67 billion and the 429 members of the Enterprise crew will be lost. The Antaeli are rumoured to have strength enough to rival a Vulcan and surprise as an advantage only has the probability to succeed against the same opponent once.

The same burns which appeared on the crew, a mere minute into the nebula, are now visible on my own skin. Against my initial odds and expectations I believe I am showing the first signs of sub nucleonic radiation poisoning.

Furthermore, I...believe that this same radiation is causing sensory impairments of my own faculties. I have, more than once, heard the voices of the crew, which is of course, impossible. However, I have little time to investigate this. Any attempts to contact Starfleet command or the planet ahead are made impossible by the nebula. I have no choice but to continue.

End log.

* * *

Spock found it increasingly difficult to find any time to rest or even sleep as the days blurred by and though he needed far less sleep than humans did, he couldn't go indefinitely without it. And after twenty five days with little more than ten hours of sleep, it was illogical to deny that he was feeling the strain. When he and Scotty had talked of their haphazard modifications to the ship, the idea had been to allow him some control even in his quarters and on the first few days it had worked. But as time had gone by the engines became increasingly hindered by these extra modifications, the ship was not intended to be run by a single person as it was. It was an all consuming task and he hardly even had time to meditate.

On a ship filled with humans, Spock had found it necessary to meditate almost daily to keep his own emotions in check. He adapted to spending so much time in a meditative state and now he felt the affects of it. His mind was becoming agitated, he was impatient and he'd more than once gone to perform a simple check in Engineering only to tear away part of the controls. Luckily he'd not yet damaged a critical part of the ship, but it still left him with some explaining to do.

It was on one such occasion, on Engineering deck, when he heard it again.

"Spock...help us..." the voice of Jim Kirk said but he knew it couldn't be real. Despite this, he found himself making his way back to the stasis units, once again to discover that all was normal.

* * *

On the thirty third and final day, with only 94.6 minutes remaining until they finally cleared the nebula, the warning sounded for an imminent engine failure. A noise which Spock privately wished never to hear again.

He walked onto the Bridge and stood for a moment, frozen in his tracks. There, standing around, lounging even, were the Captain, Chief Medical Officer, Chief Engineer, Lieutenant Uhura and Ensigns Sulu and Chekhov. In other words, the humans he was most familiar with. Before, however illogical, he had only seen brief images and heard their voices, now there were standing before him as real as the controls on which they leant.

"Spock, you look a little worse for the wear," the imaginary Jim Kirk said with an air of sarcasm.

"I'ma take bets on how much longer he'll last," McCoy added.

"The engines are done for this time, cap'n," Scotty said.

"And then everybody will die," Uhura chimed in.

"Well, blame me, I put my trust in a half breed, I should have known better," the captain hummed.

As much as that barb cut, Spock took slow steps onto the Bridge as the mechanised voice continued to inform him that an engine failure was no longer imminent. It had already happened. The engines had failed and they were stationary within the nebula.

"What's he doin' now?" the doctor asked.

"He's try'na keep the engines goin'," Scotty answered, "I don't think it's possible."

As much as he would deny it, Spock felt panic as the verbal barbs continued and the burning on his skin increased as the warnings of the ship sounded out, over and over and over. He redirected all power from shields, weapons environmental controls, everything he could get his hands on, except of course, the power keeping up the Brig force fields. But the engines were still offline. The Enterprise was at a standstill a mere 94 minutes away from the edge of the nebula.

"We won't make it," Jim sighed, "We're all dead."

"There's no more power left to boost the engines, m'poor wee bairns!" the Scotsman lamented as Spock turned with a conflicted expression to the controls.

"I know what Spock's thinking," the imaginary captain said, "He's thinking he could get those engines going if he took power from the stasis chambers."

"But then people'd die," Scotty replied.

"Spock doesn't care about that," imaginary McCoy drawled, "He's Vulcan. This is a logical choice. He only cares about efficiency."

"You're right, Bones. Spock won't have a problem with it," Jim shrugged.

After taking a deep breath Spock redirected the power from the first ten stasis units to the engines and the warnings from the computers stopped.

"Engines online," the computer replied.

"I knew he didn't care," the imaginary doctor smirked, "I win," he added as the Vulcan all but ran from the Bridge.

He ran through the ship with images of dying crewmen in his mind, Spock was not expecting to come face to face with his father, Sarek.

"You disappoint me," Sarek said without reservation.

"You are not real," Spock said, taking a step back, regardless.

"You shame our family."

"Disappoint and shame are...human emotions," he couldn't help but point out.

"You are behaving like a human, they are words which you can understand. You are Vulcan, why do you acknowledge your human half in this way?"

"To deny that which exists is illogical," he recited.

"It makes you less than Vulcan," the imaginary Sarek said.

"No."

"You are neither human nor Vulcan, you are less than both. You cannot complete this mission. You will fail."

"I will not fail," Spock reiterated and strode past the image of his father.

But it wasn't long before the image returned as he turned another corridor, Sarek stepped out from one of the rooms and his voice echoed as Spock continued past him.

"You feel fear, anxiety, concern, guilt, comradeship. These are human weaknesses," Sarek said with conviction.

"Vulcans are not without feeling," Spock replied.

"We know better than to allow ourselves to succumb to them. They make us weak, vulnerable."

Spock said nothing as he entered the turbo lift and saw the doors close on the image of his father.

* * *

"Come to watch my crew die?" the captain asked coldly as Spock approached the stasis units.

He could only watch as the people in the ten units flailed around in agony and the warning klaxon from each one sounded out in protest, playing havoc with his Vulcan hearing.

"...Computer, cut power from life support and redirect to stasis units one through ten. Resume life support after completion through the nebula," Spock breathed as the imaginary crew seemed to advance on him. He knew they weren't real. It wasn't logical to be so cautious around figments of the imagination, but the effects of the nebula, it seemed were finally catching up to him.

"Stasis units online."

"That saves my crew, Commander, but what about you? No oxygen, no heat," Jim tilted his imaginary head, "Goodbye Spock."

* * *

First Officer's Log, star date 2361.8

Fifty nine minutes and eleven seconds remain between the Enterprise and clear space. I estimate that there are five minutes, fifty three seconds of oxygen remaining and there is little heat left that is useful to a Vulcan. It is therefore impossible for me to oversee the completion of this mission, if indeed, it succeeds at all. I cannot scan for further hostile vessels in the area nor can I charge weapons as a precaution; all power is maintaining the warp drive.

As long as I am able, I must continue to monitor ship's controls, however, at the end of these, now five minutes twenty one seconds, should I survive the rapidly decreasing temperatures, I will enter a healing trance. Such a state should allow me to survive both the deprivation of heat and air if, as humans are so fond of saying, luck is on my side.

End log.

* * *

Captain's Log, star date 2362.1

After completing our one month journey through the nebula the antidote to the Havaran plague was distributed to the entire Gamma Nine planet via a series of orbiting satellites rigged by Mr. Scott. It's too short a time to say just how many lives were lost, however, we can say that there appear to be no new cases of plague since the antidote was fully delivered.

The crew came through the nebula in perfect health, though the same cannot be said for First Officer Spock who remains in Sick Bay suffering from radiation poisoning severe burns, hypothermia and oxygen deprivation.

Meanwhile, Trajis Lo Tarik, the Antaeli captain remains in the Brig and there he will stay until we dock at the next star base to answer for the following crimes; attempting to commandeer a starship and attempted murder of a Starfleet officer, both of which could have resulted in the deaths of the crew of the Enterprise and the death of the entire planet of Gamma Nine.

Until the nebula disperses, we have been ordered to remain in orbit around the planet, which could take well over a month. We cannot venture down onto Gamma Nine until all traces of the plague are gone for fear of infecting ourselves.

Only Doctor McCoy and myself are aware of the full extent of First Officer Spock's log entries and though I suspect there is a great deal not included in those logs, the choice to reveal what may or may not be fully known to anyone else is Mr. Spock's decision and right.

I wish it noted that this mission was only completed, and thousands of lives saved, due to Commander Spock's bravery and determination.

Kirk out.

* * *

"Well, Bones?" Jim asked anxiously, "How is he?" he inquired for the tenth time already.

"Hard to tell with his damn Vulcan biology," the Chief Medical Officer replied, "The radiation did more damage than we thought though...s'pecially if he really was hearing voices back there. Guess it had a different affect on a Vulcan...besides the...the burns."

"We should never have...I should never have expected him to..."

"You didn't have a choice, we didn't have a choice. Spock knew that and he damn well understood it. He knew the risks. If you wanna blame anyone for this, blame Starfleet Command. They forced you to take this mission in the first place."

"I didn't take this mission...Spock did. He did all the work...We were useless."

"Then it was a damn good thing he's the best First in the 'fleet, hmm?"

"I've never denied that," Jim muttered, "I've told him more than once. He'd make a good Captain too."

"You know he wouldn't take that promotion. Hell, they might offer it him for this one and god knows he'd deserve it...but he wouldn't take it," Bones replied. "You remember the fight he put up when you got him promoted to Commander?"

"...Yeah," the Captain smiled.

"You don't need to run yourself into the ground, y'know?" the doctor said. "He's outta the woods now. He just needs rest. Lots of it. But he'll probably just get up and stroll outta here and say he's fine, but we both know he won't be. You saw what he did down in Engineering. Now I know he's got more physical strength than you or me or anyone else on this ship, but he knows how to control it. I spoke to M'Benga about it and accordin' to him, that means Spock probably didn't sleep or meditate nearly enough so even when he wakes up he's gonna be as grouchy as a Klingon on Vulcan."

"I think he's earned the right to be a bit grouchy, don't you?"

"He's earned the right to any number o' commendations," the doctor agreed.

"Agreed," Jim nodded and sat down in a chair beside his First Officers' bedside.

"Don't you have reports t'be finishin'?" Bones asked uselessly.

"I can wait, Bones...it can wait," he sighed, steepling his fingers for a long wait.

* * *

**Epilogue.**

* * *

Three weeks later, Spock finally awoke from his healing trance and a reluctant doctor McCoy was forced to slap the Vulcan across the face repeatedly until he awoke fully. It wasn't a task he particularly enjoyed. However it was almost another week until he was able to return to his quarters, and on no account was he to return to active duty yet.

Half way into the fourth week since the completion of the Gamma Nine mission, Spock sat on the floor of his darkened, humid quarters, staring down at a single meditation candle in his black robes when the door chime quietly rang. His eyes opened slowly as the door slid aside, revealing the wary form of Jim Kirk.

"Can I come in?" he asked tentatively even as he took slow steps into the room.

"You have already done so," Spock replied.

"Erm...sorry. Am I disturbing you?" Jim asked. The humid atmosphere hit him straight away and the door closed quickly behind him in order to maintain the heat. "I would have come sooner...Bones thinks you're still resting."

"I am resting. I am meditating," the Vulcan pointed out.

"I am disturbing you," the Captain nodded in understanding with a heavy sigh and turned to leave.

"Your presence is not intrusive," Spock said to calm him, "Nor is it unwelcome," he added and Jim smiled, his back turned against his First Officer. He turned once more and sat on the floor opposite Spock.

"I never was good at meditation," he said suddenly.

In the light provided by the single meditation candle, Jim could see that burn scars on Spock's hands and one on the left side on his temple, hands healed fully yet. He didn't understand how that could be when the doctor had been able to heal the ones on the crew in a matter of hours.

"Really?" Spock raised a sarcastic eyebrow and Jim smiled ruefully at the unasked question of 'have you of all people, ever actually tried to meditate?'

"You're right, I never really tried. Not once," the Captain admitted. "Spock...can I ask you something? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to but I've been wanting to ask you anyway."

"You wish to know if there is anything I did not include in my log entries in the past month," Spock said, knowingly.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were reading my mind," Jim replied.

"Not necessary in this instance, Captain..."

"Jim," he corrected.

"...Jim," Spock nodded lightly, "And the answer is, yes. There are...several details I chose not to record, the details were private and I saw no viable reason to include them in a record purely for scientific basis."

"You don't have to justify yourself, least of all to me."

"You are the Captain. If I am to justify such an omission to anyone, it is first and foremost to you," Spock replied logically.

"I didn't come here as the Captain, Spock, I came here as a friend," Jim said, "If it makes you feel any better, I consider this strictly off the record. Though...if I'm honest, I really did just want to see that you were alright."

"I am...much improved, Jim," the Vulcan said after a moment.

The Captain knew that such a statement from his friend meant that he had indeed been in poor shape before. It wasn't every day a Vulcan admitted to being anything other than 'fully functional.' He hadn't seen much of Spock in the last few weeks. The doctor's insistence that Spock be left to rest and meditate and Jim's own guilt on the subject had been enough to keep him away.

"I'm...sorry, Spock. I'm sorry...for this whole damn thing," he cursed.

"Sorry?" Spock frowned, "Why do you apologise?"

"Why do I...because I put you in this mess," Jim replied, incredulously. "It's my fault you almost...you could have died because of this."

"I had little choice. The mission was unavoidable."

"The mission was impossible! Starfleet Command should have checked for those nebulas before they sent us out on some suicide mission!"

"They could not have done so. They lack the technology of the Gamma Nine planet for such a task," Spock said, "The situation did not allow for planning or alternatives."

"I know...I know that but...I still don't like it."

"You do not have to 'like' or 'dislike' it. It is what it is," the Vulcan replied and the Captain let out a heavy sigh.

"They'll set you up in your own Captain's chair for this one for sure, you know that, right?" Jim said with a smile. "You could ask for an all Vulcan science vessel. Captaincy of a science ship, or any ship, isn't to be snubbed," he pointed out.

As much as he didn't want to loose the 'best First Officer in the Fleet', he had to admit that Spock had more than proven himself capable of command, but he didn't want to lose his friend, regardless of that fact.

"That was Admiral Ryder's response," Spock said suddenly.

"Wait...what?"

"I was offered such a position, however, I declined," the Vulcan elaborated.

"...When was this?"

"Three days, seven hours ago, that was the third time I have been approached by Starfleet Command."

"The third?"

"Indeed."

"...Oh..."

* * *

A.N. I'm not sure how well this story line works for Spock as the main character as opposed to Seven of Nine, but I had to give it a try. I just love the Voyager episode and I've been meaning to get this finished for a while. I may do a sequel for this at some point and I'd love to know what you guys think about this one.


End file.
